Last night, a few people got a text message from me to say, "I really shouldn't write kids' books." This is why...
Fernhardt the Llama Decides to Go on a Trip
by me!
Fernhardt the llama did not live in the country of Peru. He did not even live in Peru, Indiana. In fact, he did not even live outdoors. Fernhardt lived in Dr. Bethany Lee’s office. He sat quite comfortably on the bookshelf. It was his perch of choice because he could read Samuel Beckett plays all day. He could also encourage Bethany while she worked on poems and graded papers.
Fernhardt was perfectly contended until one day he noticed the subject of an email. He didn’t mean to look over Bethany’s shoulder, and he regretted almost instantly. The subject read: GOTTA GET AWAY! INEXPENSIVE FARES TO PERU!
Why thank you, Southwest Airlines, thought Fernhardt. All caps, incomplete sentences, and a nice reminder that I’ve never been to the land of my ancestors. After being born in captivity? Way to rub it in.
Bethany deleted the email without giving it a second thought. She blew Fernhardt a kiss and went off to class. Fernhardt, on the other hand, sat alone in Bethany’s office and wondered what it might be like to visit Peru. A troubling thought came to Fernhardt’s mind: he could list all of the things he knew about Peru. He found a post-it note and a pen and scribbled what he knew.
1. Peru is spelled P-E-R-U.
2. Lake Titicaca is partially in Peru.
3. The mata mata turtle is found in eastern Peru.
a. It can also be found in the Amazon River and the Orinoco River.
b. The term mata mata comes from the word for kill in the language of the original inhabitants of the area.
c. Mata mata turtles are reptiles.
d. Mata mata turtles are not as scary as they look.
4. Peru is known for llamas.
I know more about the mata mata turtle than I do about my own heritage, thought Fernhardt. He sighed as he looked at all of the books around him. Even with all of the knowledge that he had gained, he knew that he still had a long way to go before he knew enough about Peru to be feel as if he knew more about his family’s culture and history. Fernhardt looked around the office for a way to get down from the shelf. After all, Bethany had left her computer on, so maybe Fernhardt could check prices for airline tickets.
The rolly desk chair did not seem to be too far away. Fernhardt looked up at the collection of Beckett plays and remembered one of Didi’s lines from Waiting for Godot.
“Let us do something, while we have the chance!... Let us make the most of it, before it is too late!”
Fernhardt gulped and yelled, “For Didi and Gogo!” He jumped towards the chair and realized that he really enjoyed the feeling of the wind rushing past his face. He relished feeling what seemed like his stomach leaping up to his throat. He bent his knees to avoid the full force of the fall and landed safely on the chair.
Just then, Bethany came back into her office.
“Fernhardt! What are you doing in my chair?”
Fernhardt looked up sheepishly. He explained that the email from Southwest Airlines.
“Few things are more annoying than knowing that you should know more than you do,” he said. Bethany smiled and patted him on the head. She then proceeded to shamelessly plug the trip to Peru that Purdue North Central has every year.
“You don’t need to speak Spanish, and just think of all the things you will learn. And it’ll count as credit toward your degree… whatever that is.”
Armed with this knowledge, Fernhardt felt much better. Any excuse to have and adventure and learn is a good one.
